August 04, 2005

HOW TO BE A GOOD BOOTY CALL

You've been there before,it's 2am and the phone rings,you answer it in your gruffy night voice with the slight hint of attitude "hello?" you say."Hey,it's me" you instantly recognize that voice as some of the best sex you had in a long time.You clear your voice and instantly go in to HO mode."Oh,hi.I was about to go to sleep" you say as you wipe the drool from the side of your mouth."You feel like coming over for a little while,I know it's late but..."and before they finish that statement you're saying"it's not that late,I can be there in about 20 minutes.I just have to freshen up."You hang up and go through the process(and you should have one)of getting ready for your booty call.Did you know there is an etiquette to being a good booty call?Well,now you know.And me being the good booty call I am, I'll teach it to you.
AS SOON AS YOU HANG UP
Go and get you a cute bag(no plastic shopping bags) something like a carry all or a small back-pack.I personally prefer my Louis V. mini back-pack.You'll need your supplies...condoms,mouthwash(small bottle),underwear(I'll explain that one in a minute),small mirror(for applying make-up on the ride home),travel alarm clock(explained lata),a few baby wipes(assume a bachelor has nothing for you to wash up with) if there is not an all night supermarket on the way to your destination you should go to the fridge and get an apple,orange,or a banana and a red bull(for energy and stamina). Never bring anything to a booty call's house that you're afraid to lose.Hurry up! You should never have the person that called waiting for you too long.
Take a quick but effective shower,don't use too much of a scented soap because they taste nasty(if you know what I mean).Hit all the hot spots twice.
THE ATTIRE
The object here is to turn the person on quickly and get straight to the sexual stuff.So,you're gonna need to wear something tight and easy to put on and take off.I say skip the underwear(you have some in your bag for the ride home) this provides easy access. I have many cute little black slip dresses that push the ta-tas up and out and can be pulled off with the ease of a t-shirt.
AFTER THE SEX
This part is tricky,if you want to spend the night and it seems like the person wants you to stay over(just waking up sex is HOT) find out what time he/she has to get up and set your alarm 1/2 hour earlier,so you could get in the bathroom first and come out so fresh and so clean and ready to go at it again or so you can get your ass back home to get ready to go to work.A good booty call should be able to quickly read a situation you never wanna stay longer than expected or leave too soon.Then catch your ass a taxi and either smile thinking about how your booty call went so fucking well or deleting their number from your phone because the sex wasn't worth the apple in your bag.
Can you bitches believe I just wrote an article on booty callin'..LOL
YOU'RE IN DA HOOD NOW BABY!!

6 comment(s):

I LOVE IT! But you didn't give an example of what you would wear to the booty call!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 04, 2005  

Done!

By Blogger HOLIDAY N, at August 04, 2005  

You hit every nail on the head, good job!!!

By Anonymous Mark, at August 04, 2005  

Girl you are too much!...lol...and I was taking notes too :)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 04, 2005  

LMAO!

But I don't EVER answer a booty call. I MAKE them, I don't respond to them.

Good post!

By Blogger SMW, at August 05, 2005  

Thank you:)
Works for a grandma took the kids and I'm getting quality time night too!

By Blogger Dori Vee, at December 19, 2015  

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