September 12, 2005

SO HOT..THE PARIS HILTON FUNNIES (BY ME)

"I'm just sitting here thinking how rich and hot I am,and how sad that there are people in this world that are not only poor but don't have a second vacation home"
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"I'm glad all of you are here,that's hot.I have something very important to say that's hot.I am no longer the party girl that you all knew me as.I am..oh I forgot,that's hot,I am doing better things with my fame,I am going to write a book,well I'm gonna hire a writer but I am going to read it,well hire someone to read it to I mean for me.That's hot."
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"My book is done.It's about everything important to the people in the world right now.It's a how to be an heiress guide.Here's an excerpt"(actual excerpt):
1 BE BORN INTO THE RIGHT FAMILY. Choose your chromosomes wisely.
2 HAVE A GREAT NAME. If you are going to be an heiress, you can't have a normal name, unless you're British. All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there. But in America, you've got to have a name that stands out. I love my name. Paris is my favorite city. And Paris without the P is "heiress," isn't it?
3 HAVE ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS SKIN, BUT DON'T FRET OVER IT. Pile makeup on and never, ever have a breakout.
I'm totally giving back!
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Now all I need is a great serious magazine cover to show off the new me,no hair extensions,no party club girl,no sexy pose,it's the New Paris...No bra!!
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