October 13, 2005
THE(NOT SO) SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESSEveryone from J-Lo to rapper Trina has been pedaling their signature scents for us to purchase.Some of these celebs get it right like J-Lo with her first scent Glow..it was cute,fresh smelling,very summertime on the block and Sarah Jessica Parker's new scent Lovely has an exotic fragrance with a touch of apple martini(no kidding),it's very out with the girls but going home to your man. Even Ashanti has a scent,what's it called...Mediocre?
Now,there are those that needed to stop...who really wanted their men to smell like Antonio Banderas and Donald Trump?
This got me wondering what if other celebs had their own scent what would be the ingredients?what would it smell like?what's the slogan?So here's my list:
FANTASIA- "KJFEq7TEHFD",named by Fantasia herself.Not sure what it spells?...Well neither does she(just a joke people..lol).
One whiff of this and you are transported to the deep south.The ingredients: chitterlings,collard greens,bacon fat and crunk juice in a cute bling'd out mayonaise jar.
Wake up and spell the coffee
MARIAH CAREY-"LA DIVA LOCA" you're gonna think that you just woke up in Bellvue after smelling this sweet and girlie scent from MiMi.
Ingredients: Lollipops,rainbows,glitter,sugar& spice,and Prozac.
The bottle is in the shape of Mariah being restrained with a straight jacket,the bottle is plastic for your(and her)protection.
Mariah and crazy...They Belong Together
KEVIN FEDERLINE(BRITNEY'S BABY DADDY)
"GIGOLO",self explanatory.Ingredients: All summer things. "Summer your things,Summer her things".The bottle is in the shape of a 4 leaf clover because that bastard is the luckiest fool on earth.
LIL KIM- Sorry,not available until next year and a day.
R.KELLY- "URINE TROUBLE NOW"..Don't be fooled by the golden color,it does not represent his record sales.Ingredients:Warm,fresh,powerful,pee,straight from R. after a night of partying.The cute penis shaped bottle squirts the scent directly onto you.
Buy it or he'll be pissed
LINDSAY LOHAN-CRASH...Lindsay's new fragrance is special,it contains all the blood,sweat,and tears of her victims...literally.It comes in a cracked bottle so be careful and don't drop it..if you do,don't worry you will safely escape any charges.