November 14, 2005
ASK HOLLYHOODI get a lot of e-mails from readers of this site and my other blog The Heiress Diaries(winner of Best New Blog) wanting advice on everything from style,finance,hair,and fitness to sex,gossip,and dating.I absolutely love the fact that although I get like no comments,my e-mails are always full of some of the nicest shit from people.So I'd like to start answering e-mails on this blog weekly(so if you have any questions on any topic,e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org)
E-mails will be anonymous if you like.E-mails will be edited if needed.No problem is too small or too big to get a little advice on and although I'm not a trained therapist I could give you the kind of advice a good girlfriend would give.
I read both of your blogs every chance I get.You seem to be one of those women that have it together and could teach a few things to some of these dumb ass chicks that's out here.
I have a problem I'd like help with mama.It's like,I've been seeing this girl for a minute and we used to fuck like all the time and now we don't do shit.You think she might be dippin' ?
Thanks for seeing me as a person that might be able to help you.First,I wanna say that if you go out with the expectation that all the girls you meet are dumb asses then that's all you'll meet.You won't even be able to see the good in a good one...you'll just be waiting for her to fuck up.
Secondly,and this is to all ...TALK TO YOUR PARTNERS!! If you feel as if something's wrong,ask them.Find out if there is something you could be doing better,or let them know when something's bothering you.
I can't answer for your girl,but I can say that in general if a woman stops sleeping with her man it's not always due to "dippin' ".Here are a few reasons:
1- She's angry at you
Most women cannot fuck a man that they're angry at. And unfortunately for you, many women bottle up their resentment, instead of simply letting you know when you've done something that upsets them. This means that your woman might be pissed off at you, yet you haven't the slightest clue that you've done anything wrong.
Talk to her and calmly ask her if you've done anything that has upset her lately. If she quickly says "no," and tries to change the subject, ask her again and encourage her to be honest with you. It's possible that after she gets what's bothering her off her chest, you two can have a mind-blowing session of make-up sex.
2- She's feels unsexy
It's very simple: if your girlfriend feels unsexy, she won't want to have sex. Maybe she's put on a few pounds, she's exhausted, or someone insulted her. It's not uncommon for a woman to judge herself too harshly.Yes,even someone as gorgeous as I has had a bout with feeling less than that. Us girls are emotional creatures, after all.
Encourage her to take some time to pamper herself or treat her to an afternoon at the spa, or, better yet, give her a nice long massage and tell her that she's beautiful and sexy. Sometimes something as simple as paying her a genuine compliment will remind her how attractive you think she is, and get her ready to go.
3-She's no longer attracted to you
This may seem harsh,but despite what she may say to your face, she may never be in the mood for the simple reason that she is no longer attracted to you. Although your sex used to send shivers throughout her entire body, and it took the greatest amount of restraint to wait until you got home from a party to have sex, you just don't turn her on anymore. And if she has an ounce of tact, she will tell you so in a subtle manner or you can be brave and ask her.
Perhaps the reason she is no longer attracted to you has little to do with you, per se, and more to do with someone else. Does she seem distant lately? Does she have a short fuse when it comes to you? Is she into doing things and going places that she never had an interest in before? If so, she may be dippin' sweetie, her attention(like her bootie) may lie with another.
If this is the reason for your lack of intimacy lately, then I'm afraid there isn't much that can be done to resolve the issue. It is best to go your seperate ways.