November 07, 2005
HOLLYHOOD FAKE INTERVIEWSHere at Hollyhood Blogazine I could never get the real interviews that I'd like...yet.But because I happen to be one of those people that actually know a lot of the stars I talk about... personally,I feel that I have a right to do an interview the way they would have if I was interviewing them.So here for the first time is:
Hollyhood's Fake Interviews
Today I have the pleasure of interviewing one of music's biggest stars.Welcome,Miss Mariah Carey.
M.C.-Thank you,thank you.
H.B.-How are you...can I call you Mimi?
H.B.-Mimi, the woman you emancipated on your new cd.
M.C.-I'm not crazy.
H.B.-Okaaaaay,so how does it feel to have yet another hit?
M.C.-Who told you that? That was only once,Kate Moss said nobody would find out.
M.C.-Am I sitting on my good side?I HAVE to be shot on my good side.
H.B.-This isn't t.v. sweetie, it doesnt matter what side you're on.
M.C.-I'm not wearing panties.
H.B.-Ewww.Can you please just answer at least 1 question like a person not on crack?
M.C.-Yes.I'm also not wearing a bra.
H.B.- No panties,no bra?I thought they belong together...LOL
M.C.-That was corny.
H.B.-No,Glitter was corny.
M.C.-Can we talk about me?
H.B.-I was trying to.(deep breath)It's bananas how amazing your new cd is,was there a lot of pressure on you to have a big comeback album after so,so, so, many bad ones?
M.C.-I like bananas.
H.B.-What the fuck is wrong with you?I'm sitting here trying to ignore the fact that you have on an Osh Kosh jumper with no bra or panties on and carrying a Hello Kitty purse and matching umbrella.Nothing you're saying or doing makes sense.
M.C.-(Mariah takes 2 pills and sips from her juice box and starts to blink wildly,she stops) How are ya?
H.B. Uhmmm are you ok Mariah?
M.C.-Please call me MiMi.
H.B.-MiMi,although you dress like a prostitute with a Platinum Card,your love life seems to be on the down low,do you date?
M.C.-I've been known to hold more than a microphone in these hands.
H.B.-I heard you dated Eddie Murphy recently.How did that happen?
M.C.-I saw Beverly Hills Cop once, so I figured that was fate telling me to fuck him.
H.B.-Huge #1 single,big selling CD,breasts younger than Britney's baby...what's next for you MiMi?
H.B.-Aww hell...get the fuck out whoever you are and thanks for coming.
M.C.-(puts one hand to her ear)Listen to what I can do...(and she lets out her trademark siren causing blood to trickle from my left nostril and my right ear.)
H.B.-thanx people...that was Mariah.
M.C.-Please call me Mimi...I'm not crazy!!