November 25, 2005

MY BLIND DATE PART 2

Well when I last left off,my experimental date,Leron, got to the restaurant almost an hour and 1/2 late and with his uninvited cousin.(To the Heiress Diaries readers...I was not calling a chatline looking for love..I wanted to experience an online or chatline date for myself before I wrote about it.)

So I tell Leron to come in and have the maitre'd bring him to the table.15 minutes later,Leron comes in with his cousin.Before I get to their descriptions...I was sitting there wondering why the hell did it take them 15 minutes to come inside if they were outside the restaurant.
Leron was very,very attractive.Tall,brown,nice lips,gorgeous eyes,dreads,and as I saw him give his coat to coat check I saw that he had a nice body through his fitted sweater under his blazer.His shoes were very Kenneth Cole like and he had fake studs in his ears but he was attractive so it didn't matter.He walked in with his cousin...A DISASTER.He wore sweatpants to Cipriani..OMG! Not only was he severely overweight but he was sweating like crazy.He was short and he had on too much cologne.I didn't look down at his feet so I have no idea the shoes he had on.

My friend Gary was kicking me under the table as his date was snickering.I smiled and was very cordial.I told Leron"me and my friends should leave for you guys bein so damn late".
Leron smiled...one of his 2 front teeth were gone...gone...nothing..not a gold tooth,yellow tooth,not even a borrowed tooth or Chicklet.Well,the purpose of this date was to try online dating and not to look for love so it was cool.Leron told me some bullshit about his phone and getting lost and whatever.I told him that we already ate most of our dinner and if he wanted to order something he should hurry because I was tired.
Then his cousin says,"tired from what? Was'nt yall just sitting here?"
I rolled my eyes and then the cousin said as he sat his fat ass down"Since Leron told me that there was a mix up with the date you should choose between us...cuz I'm feeling you too ma."
He was ferocious.Gary laughed out loud which made his date Eddie laugh out loud.Then Eddie says..we're not laughing at yall we're laughing at the situation.

I said "why don't we all just sit here and eat".Leron waited for the busboy to bring him a chair and then he sat next to me with his cousin on the other side of me.So Gary starts talking about Naomi on Tyra's show which led us talking about Top Model which led to talking about our fave models of all time which led to Leron saying "can we talk about something that's not gay?"

Why'd he say that? Eddie said "No,because I'm gay" and then Gary wanting to act up also said"You too girl?" And they started laughing.I was smiling and trying not to laugh.So then the fat cousin says "you like gay boys?"..I said "No, I like gay MEN."
So then the cousin says"I ain't mean no disrespect,you like who you like, fuck who you fuck. I just wanted to know why girls always be around gay dudes that don't want them?It's a waste..and you fine" I just mouthed the words "thank you" and continued eating as both Leron and his cousin "Hustle" argued about the fact that Cipriani's didn't have anything simple like spaghetti or pizza.

Hustle recognized the word fried and ordered calamari.Leron ordered like a curried shrimp.For drinks I had 2 chocolate martinis,Leron and his cousin had Courvoisier and I forget what Gary had but Eddie had a Pepper Martini.

The conversation was fun at times and ignorant at others.Things got fun when we started talking about video games(which I love) and movies.We talked about music,music videos,and then jobs.
Leron works at a Post Office and his cousin Hustle is a "hustler".So after I paid the bill($300 or something like that) Hustle says "damn L,we got a rich girl". I got up and went to the ladies lounge and called Gary and said for him and Eddie to meet me outside becuase I was done with Leron and Klump.I got my coat from coat check and snuck outside.
Eddie came out first and 2 minutes later Gary,we caught a cab and laughed about the whole night.We then went to Gary's house in the Village and we watched Showgirls on his huge plasma and snuggled under Gary's faux mink throw on his bed.

That's my life..no matter who I start off with I always end up in the bed with a gay man or 2.
my overall impression of online/chatline dating is..as long as you're careful,and know what you're looking for,and remember to be respectful,safe and fun..I guess it's cool.I will never do it again but it's not as bad as I imagined it would be.

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