November 04, 2005


I found this article on Maxim Online. It talks about a man name Brian Zembic,who is a professional gambler that not only does traditional betting but bizarre ass shit also.I found the article both funny as hell and sickening and I'm sure you will too.

The article's a little long but mos def are at the bottom.Brian Zembic was bet that he couldn't last 1 year with breast implants for $100,000...he still has them and he loves them...8 years later!

Zembic, 44, has every reason to marvel at his tits. They have, after all, made him a legend. As constant companions, they entered his life when he and his friends—a motley rabble of wealthy Vegas gamblers who bet on pretty much anything,were discussing how nuts it was that their friend Martha, and for that matter women in general, went under the knife for a bigger rack. Were breasts really that important?

I said, Fuck, yeah! The only reason Martha gets attention is because she has boobs, recalls Zembic. And if I had them, I would get just as much attention. Even more. Because the whole world revolves around boobs.

So one of his pals, a high-stakes backgammon player, issued a put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is challenge. He said he would give Zembic $100,000 if he got breast implants. At first Zembic hedged, but eventually a meeting was called, a titty tribunal and the terms were set.

Zembic would get the money if he lasted a year with the globes intact. All he had to do was pay for the surgery itself.So he did. To the astonishment of everyone, he forked out a few grand for a pair of C-cups. That was in 1997. Eight years ago. When Titanic came out. Yet today he still has the tits.You know why? Because I can’t afford to have the damn things taken out! He iss grinning. No, seriously, it is because I hate operations. That general anesthetic, it makes me so sick. And now I had them in so long that there is all this scar tissue underneath...

Zembic drops his head in a rare moment of contemplation. You know what? I cannot even remember what it is like not having them. Is it really eight years? Shit. That is nearly a fifth of my life. That is a long time to have boobs.Brian Zembic is a unique and exceptional man,not so much because he got hooters, but because, on him, they seem almost incidental. He is loud and manic, the center of attention. He is a brilliant sleight-of-hand magician, constantly whipping out a deck of cards. He is a Ping-Pong coach and world-class blackjack and backgammon player.

Gambling has paid for everything he owns, including a beautiful four-bedroom home in Las Vegas with a yellow Hummer parked out front.But his pals do not call him the Wiz simply for his gambling and magic skills. The man with the mammaries also has an uncanny ability to get hot women giggling their way into the sack.It is unbelievable, says his friend Derek, a professional blackjack player. It is not as though he is good looking. But he gets away with murder. He gets them laughing, pulls a few cards out of their cleavage, and next thing you know he is cupping their tits and they are away.

Zembic was always a tit man. I was breast-fed until the age of six, he kids. Having his own pair has done nothing to dilute his fetish. I still live for nice breasts, even though my own don’t do anything for me, he says. That was my big worry about getting the implants: How the hell am I going to get some chi-chi? But, you know, I am shocked,there is never been a girl who has not enjoyed them. The boobs help. Now if I think I have no shot with a girl, I use the boobs. If I had them removed, I would be like, Jesus Christ, how am I going to get a date now?

At first glance (long, disbelieving stare is more like it), it is tough to imagine the breasts are such a chick magnet. They are hairy, for starters. I shave them when I have a date, Zembic says. I am a gentleman like that. So what is the chick appeal? The curiosity factor? Or the fact that he is a minor celebrity with a book,The Man With the $100,000 Breasts and Other Gambling Stories,named after his startling appendages? A lot of things contribute, he explains. But I think it is also because they are all lesbians. I am serious. They play around with them, they suck them, they rub theirs on mine. And they get to do all that without feeling like they are lesbians.

Does it feel good to have women sucking your tits?Not really, but I never had any feeling there before, he says. I just fake it to keep it going. It is a turn on for me to watch two girls. So when I am with a girl, I pretend it is not me and I am on the outside, watching two lesbos going at it.

In addition to fame and pseudo-lesbo action, Zembic's jugs have brought him a small fortune. After the book came out, he appeared on The Man Show, The Howard Stern Radio Show, and Inside Edition, among others. He posed for both The Star newspaper and Helmut Newton. Then there were all the side bets. For example, a high-rolling pal gave him $2,000 to flash his tits in the middle of a casino.

So far, he estimates, his snoobs have earned him about $270,000.But it has not all been cash and chicks. As any well-endowed woman will tell you, having a mondo rack has its disadvantages. To keep his gazongas hidden in public, Zembic has to dress a certain way,not in cleavage enhancing bras, but spandex tops and billowy shirts. His outfits are odd(think hospital orderly) but he insists that is not out of embarrassment.

Pens in his shirt pocket chafe, and jogging is painful without a sports bra. As for swimming or getting a tan, he has not done either in eight years. And airport security is always treacherous.But these are minor irritations. In general, the boobs appear to have treated him well. Ironically, they have even kept him in shape. I can not put on weight, because then my boobs look like shit, he says. I want my boobs to look good, even if I am the only one who sees them! Now I know why girls are always dieting. It is for their boobs. I am serious. I have an insight into women now. Girls can relate to me, too. They talk to me the way they talk to gay guys. The only difference is, afterward, I try to bang em'.

The simple truth is that Zembic is attached to his tits.If I ever looked in the mirror and thought, What the fuck am I doing with these?, then I would get them out, he says. But I got to say, I like them. They are mine, they are me. What can I say?Nevertheless, the clock is ticking on the most famous knockers in gambling history. He recently accepted a bet from pal Michael Sall, a high-stakes gin player, that throws the future of his chest into question.

Zembic groans just thinking about it. I get $50,000 if I go to a D-cup, or $10,000 if I take them out. But I have to pay $20,000 if I leave them in. He looks pained. I got till February…

On a flight I bet a buddy $2,000 I could get a stranger to give me a hand job. I picked out a girl and approached her. When the movie comes on, my buddy looks over and sees a towel over me and her hand working away on me.

For $3,000 I ran a mile through the streets of Philly in only panties and a bra. If I got stopped by the cops and did not finish, I would lose the $3,000, so I practiced the safest route all week. The cops didn't bother me though.

How long do you think it takes to drink a professional Frisbee full of beer? People say, like, one or two minutes. So I bet them they cannot do it in 15 minutes. Try it. You can't do it. You can fit about five cans of beer in there.

Someone bet me $14,000 I couldn't live in a bathroom for a month. The guy I bet had his buddies take horrible craps in the place. After six days they gave me $7,000 to stop the bet. No one thought I'd last that long.


2 comment(s):

wow. wow. wow.

By Anonymous grayse, at November 05, 2005  

Nasty...but if someone offered a million bucks if I could do it for a year, I might consider it...:-)

I'm such a freak.

By Blogger E, at November 06, 2005  

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